Another post

I want to dedicate this post to my friend Suzie. She was one of the best visiting teachers I've ever had. At the time I knew she cared but I can look back and see how much she loved me as one of her sisters.
Anyhow, it's her that has me opening up about my recent trials.
We moved and its been difficult. I'm developing friendships but I still don't feel like I have any that are super deep. I miss that about living in Moscow or Tacoma. In both places I was really blessed with great friends I could call night or day. And we did. Making new friends kind of blows, and not like the beautiful kite in the wind.
I have been struggling today because Chris is out of town... And we'll my motivation for anything went with him. I have a completely new respect for single moms. My sister did it for many years and I was way harsher on judging her than I thought I was at the time. 20/20 right?
Anyhow, I did not want to do anything. My poopy toddler woke me up this morning with his cabelas pop gun (probably one f his favorite toys we've EVER gotten him and the one I have left in the Car since December, no joke) and I wanted nothing to do with it. Plus it was like 30 minutes before my alarm. He's an early bird and full of energy. Shortly after him it was Lulu and then it was all tantrums and nagging.
I'm so used to having help between five and seven thirty pm. I did the dishes today and made food. No cleaning no nothing major. I was just caving into my pity and definitely was treating my body that way too.
I feel like its so easy to drown in your own misery and self pity. I took the chance on Monday to watch the CES fireside with Brother and Sister Bednar. Elder Bednar narrated the story of this young couple and their trials. The one phrase I got out of all of it was something to this effect "it's more than enduring to the end but not shrinking". At first I didn't get it but as today went on I felt it and I did shrink a little but was able to straighten myself back out. I feel like being a stay at home mom is more difficult than I ever thought it would be but also more rewarding as well. I feel like I'm failing a lot in being a good mom, but I can say that I have been trying and trying to not shrink under the task.

That's all I got right at this point in time. I'd love to be able to have more meaningful posts about something or about my kids but this is where it's at currently.